Deus X Makina

9. Rage Against the Machine
   If you spend your musical career making terrific, politically-charged music in a search for relevance and credibility, you lose the ability to break up because Zach de la Rocha is feuding with his bassist.
   
   
8. Smashing Pumpkins
   How can I be disappointed? The Pumpkins broke up in 2000, after Adore and Machina, the two most forgettable albums ever put out by a good band. After that, we were rewarded with Zwan and Mary Star of the Sea in 2002, which was a decent opening album for what appeared to be Billy Corgan and Jimmy Chamberlain's new pet project. Unfortunately, after that we had years of nothing except angry blogs posts between Corgan, D'arcy, and James, before they reunited for Zeitgeist, which wasn't much better than where they left off. I guess it's just a big letdown when a band makes Gish and Siamese Dream, really steps it up with Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, right when my generation was searching for a new sound (NKOTB had split, it was rough time), and they never quite return to that level of greatness.
   
   
7. Dave Matthews Band
   No free pass, Dave! Yes, okay, Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King is great, but you waited nine years to put that one out. Remember in 1998, when "Stay (Wasting Time)" was on every radio station in the country, a scant two years after "Crash" permeated our entire musical society even with its intensely sexual lyrics? Remember how everyone thought DMB was poised to take over popular music for the next 10 years? Sorry, folks, turns out Dave loved to tour. What followed was two dozen live performance bootlegs which I'm sure was "totally killer" if you were actually at Red Rocks. Everyday, Busted Stuff, and Stand Up, his weak, unimaginative studio sessions desperately thrown together before returning to the road, were all we got. Don't worry, I'm sure we'll hear "The Christmas Song" about four dozen times this holiday season.
   
   
6. The Wallflowers
   I know it's tough to live up to the legend of your father, so maybe Jakob Dylan was doomed from the start, but Bringing Down the Horse was successful. So what happened? (Breach) was very good, and it looked like Jakob was really starting to find a sound he could believe in, but Red Letter Days and Rebel, Sweetheart were colorless and provided him a good reason to try a solo album, Seeing Things, which was decidedly worse. The promise of lineage, indeed.
   
   
5. The Foo Fighters
   Similarly, Dave Grohl comes from strong musical heritage, and when There Is Nothing Left to Lose hit us at the turn of the millennium, we knew we expected great things from him in the future. One By One was our reward, apparently, because the following albums, In Your Honor and Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace were mindless exercises to get back to touring and make it look like Dave was actually trying. And a greatest hits album this year? The nerve!
   
   
4. Barenaked Ladies
   "No," you shout, "I love Barenaked Ladies! They're terrific!" Oh, yeah? Then why are we still hearing "A Million Dollars" and "One Week"? Oh, I know why: because they made a total of zero interesting albums and refused (or were unable) to grow at all as a band in the slightest amount. "Another Postcard"? Seriously? Chimpanzees?
   
   
3. R.E.M.
   Watching this band, which I would have to say was my favorite band (if forced to choose) for a long time, descend into lifelessness has been tragic. Motivated (I assume) purely by their intention to honor their contract with the label, they continue to pump out bland, meaningless records full of tracks attempting to sound like "It's the End of the World As We Know It" or "Stand". Boy, did Bill Berry see what was coming from a mile away or what?
   
   
2. U2
   Remember Achtung Baby? Remember listening to that album forever because it was so fantastic? How about The Joshua Tree? Just put it on repeat, right? Maybe you even fell in love with The Unforgettable Fire, way back when. Well, fellas, those days are gone. I guess we should have seen it coming with Pop, but this decade was filled with three albums that consisted of one song each that Bono sold to an iTunes commercial, and a bunch of weak, emo songs like "Yahweh" and "Grace" to fuel his massive ego and keep him clinging to the world stage. You're done. See if you can refrain from further endangering your musical legacy.
   
   
1. Weezer
   If you were alive near 1994, you know the power and glory of The Blue Album. It had a majesty to it from start to finish, and destroyed faces from coast to coast. But everyone has that one friend, the music junkie, who says "Oh, you like the blue album? Man, you should listen to Pinkerton. That album is amazing!" And it's an interesting choice, which you prefer. But the downhill slide started with The Green Album, continued with Maladroit, which was still okay: not their best stuff but maybe they can switch it around for next time, but it just fell through the floor with Make Believe. What the fuck is this, River? Baseball analogies? I couldn't even bring myself to purchase The Red Album, and Raditude was just an opportunity to spit in the face of anyone who had already graduated from high school and found this tripe to be just plain stupid. Please, just stop.

18. "You Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will.", by Bright Eyes (Lifted, 2002)

14. "Beautiful Child", by Rufus Wainwright (Want One, 2003)

11. "The Luckiest", by Ben Folds (Rockin' the Suburbs, 2001)

Well, as you can see, I finished my Goal Tracking module there on the right. Does it look pretty tight to you?

Wait! Before you answer that, let me tell you what was involved: now, you can't see it, but that is an object-oriented application using a Model-View-Controller implementation. So I'm going to insert rows into the site's mySQL database as I weigh myself and complete rounds of golf throughout the year. The graph will update dynamically. Pretty cool? If you examine the source of this page, you can see that getting those DIVs to stack on one another did not require one or two lines of CSS formatting. Oh, and those colors? Chosen on the server-side based on the percentage of the goal remaining. Plus you'll note the milestones I added, which will change to reflect when they are met as I meet them.

Okay, now are you impressed? Really? No. Huh. Fine. FINE! I didn't make it for you anyway!

Also, I added a spot for pictures at the bottom. Because if that photo isn't going to motivate me to lose weight, nothing will. I look like a narwhal.

Welcome back to Deus X Makina 5.0! I moved the site to the Joomla CMS because almost all of the content was blog articles, plus I wanted to add an easy way to track my progress. What progress you might ask?

Well, I spent the last 9 months taking golf lessons in an effort to get ready to play at the Broadmoor (home of the 2011 Women's U.S. Open). I don't mind telling you that I did pretty bad. I was very nervous, playing next to a 10 handicap (who happened to be my wife's COO), and the course is not exactly easy to begin with. I made one or two good approaches, one or two good putts, and the rest of the team was nice enough to let me take some gimme ten-footers, but overall, I wasn't happy with my performance.

Then, while looking through some photos, I found one of me looking fatter than I've been in 9 years (Fall 2000... "The Immobile Months"). I weighed myself when I got home: 194.6 lbs, 24.0% body fat. Well, that's it, I decided. Time to make some changes.

By the next conference, I want to shave 15 strokes off my game, 15 pounds off my form, and get down to 15% body fat. So I... I'll use the verb "received"... the P90X program, an intense workout regimen of six days a week of high impact programs, and I renewed my commitment to GolfTEC, a golf instruction agency, and my instructor, Dennis Beidenstein.

I have a plan. Now comes the easy part.

4 STARS

Larsson's second book of the Millennium Trilogy, above all else, does not disappoint. Certainly there are parts that are not enjoyable, but the novel, on its face, doesn't ever betray you or let you down. Everything in it either creates tension or relieves it. Larsson's particular style makes sure you are thinking something and you need to decide how you feel about it, knowing full well that it might turn out the other way.

Lisbeth Salander is back, this time independently wealthy. The first third of the book devotes serious effort to recharacterizing her, Blomkvist, Berger, Bjurman, and all the rest. Unfortunately, I found Lisbeth's trip to Bermuda too long and describing new aspects of her personality (she allows herself to be seduced by a 16-year-old native?) without talking about the process of how she changed was poignant. She seemed removed from her old self, even though her actions in the second and third parts of the book are basically the same. The only new feeling is regret involving Miriam Wu, which is refreshing but is not emphasized. More on Blomkvist below.

The second act focuses a lot on police procedure, and is relatively interesting. Several bright characters appear, and the concurrent investigations of Armansky, Blomkvist, and Bublanski are fun to watch overlap and expound upon one another. Larsson plays a great, but common, card of emphasizing one character then removing them from the book for a long stretch, where the reader is constantly wondering what really happened and learning about facts in a roundabout fashion. It works well for him.

The confrontation at the warehouse seemed both exciting and off-kilter. In a way, I felt that the giant was "unfair" and that Roberto's cocky attitude let the reader take a serious look at what was being foreshadowed. Larsson really shines at the outcome.

At times, the book appears to be sponsored by Apple and IKEA. It is strange to me, especially with the technical jargon, because if you go back and reread book one, the computers are terribly outdated and no longer impressive. Continuing to refer to their specification guarantees that, sooner than later, readers will find the archaic references humorous. I don't think it detracts from the narrative, however. I merely regard it as curious.

Again in this book, my biggest problem is Blomkvist. Bleak and uninteresting, he is recharacterized as a blithe ladies man whose biggest problem is fame and women throwing themselves at him. Woe is he. No one is really interested in the relationship between him and Harriett. As he puts on his gumshoe hat in the second act, it looks like he actually might graduate into some kind of emotion, but again: nothing. I could see him not becoming involved in the Vanger case because he had no connection, but these events are closely tied to him and he barely reacts. At the end, Salander reveals that there is actually nothing to solve at all, and all his efforts merely confirm what she knew the whole time. It's frustrating to watch a character get so much face time but basically get ignored for another 300 pages.

A couple other assorted issues with the book:

1. If you're an investigative reporter, or even a grad student, about to blow the doors off a major scandal, get some folks fired and probably a few others sent to prison, it really can't be surprising that violence might ensue. You may want to consider basic protective measures. Then Blomkvist attempts to go after them armed only with a can of mace? Smart.
2. You can't flip a page in the second act without a police officer calling Lisbeth retarded. OKAY. WE GET IT. At times the psychologist reports get mentioned once a paragraph. It's like being beaten with a fish.
3. I guess Larsson heard that everyone thought the epilogue of the first book was too long, and decided to remove the second book's denouement as punishment. The sequel preparation to book one was obvious, but this might as well be a "To be continued..." page. Golly, I wonder who will take over Berger's spot at Millennium? I sure have heard a lot about this Camilla girl! Durrrrrr...

Overall, I have to give the book four stars, even though it probably only deserves three. Lisbeth is an extremely fun character, even though she can (almost) do no wrong. The rest of the cast, besides an extremely vibrant, psychotic portrayal of Bjurman, seem blurry at best, and I really wish Larsson would have finished the book rather than take the cheap route to getting me to buy book three. Doesn't mean I won't buy it immediately, though... :)

3 STARS

I'm not sure what to say about this book. The writing is solid: subdued and keeps a good pace. You'll never find yourself wishing things were going faster, because you're never really sure where you're headed. To a confrontation with Doc Barker's gang? Reverend Whipple? Fiona? You're never sure.

Mercer is a great character, constantly trying to improve himself and facing serious choices about his development as a man and a police officer. Dorst did an okay job telling me why Mercer liked Fiona, but I never really got the romantic connection. I was really pulling for him to get with Kelly and have a little fun, for the first time in his life.

Encapsulating the action into the police reports is an interesting implementation of fiction. Dorst certainly gets points for trying something new. I can't figure out what I really like about this book, but I can tell you what I don't.

1. The present tense is very distracting at times. I don't understand why authors choose to write in this fashion when so little is gained. I guess it's a good decision when you're writing lyrical narrative, with lots of action and a fast pace. But if you're describing architecture, the present tense is ridiculous: "Is someone creating the corinthian columns right now? I can't tell!"
2. Officer Mercer is rather injury-prone. I could see one incident, specifically the car crash, happening and advancing the plot. But he's in the hospital on three separate occasions, and after the third occurrence you really don't care that he's in pain.
3. So many characters! Most are interesting, with Toronto and Jude probably being the most in-depth, but their roles come in waves, and are never complete. Some characters, particularly Lorna, get off scott-free from their poor choices, while others, particularly Jude, are placed in impossible situations and face huge consequences. Reyna doesn't even make an appearance in the epilogue: what the Hell happened to her?
4. We are never really emotionally invested in the plight of the ghosts. Dorst never connects what Featherstone was doing there in the first place (I assumed he actually was crazy) and, more importantly, never gives us a real reason for Mercer to care what happened to the beleaguered residents of the cemetary.
5. Little Coit learns martial arts from an old guy in the Japanese cemetary? Seriously?
6. Using root on the living in the climax seems curious. Doc Barker already has a great method of killing, see Sergeant Featherstone. Further, we are never told about the method used by the latter to avoid coming to the cemetary at all. It is mentioned in passing in one of the police reports (cremation, I think?) but it would have been interesting to examine how he learned of the circumstances and any other "rules" that apply to the lives of the dead.

Overall, I guess I can't recommend this book, per se, but if you're thinking about reading it, I think you should, simply to see what you'll think.

3 STARS

After finishing the Harry Potter series, I was desperate for good fantasy fiction, and there's just not a ton out right now. His Dark Materials went south (yeah... deep south) by the middle of Amber Spyglass. Magic Bites, Dresden Files, and the other magic/mystery series failed to lure me. Luckily, I found The Alchemyst.

I liked the first book, and the second, thoroughly. Michael Scott draws action sequences very well and it's fun to glimpse some of the personalities he has implemented: Dr. John Dee is a great villain, and Saint-Germain is a fun addition to the party. The drama is self-sustaining, as the main characters are constantly moved and moving in and out of danger.

As with most action fiction, characters thoughts and feelings are usually limited to analysis of the situation at hand and reacting to previous events: there's no internal interaction going on, and that's okay. Scott, however, has stumbled across a couple problems and hasn't fixed them in his 2nd book of the series.

1. Scott has a bad case of the one-uppers. Remeber when wereboars were considered the best warriors in history during the battle at Yggdrasill? No, now the Disir are the best. Except for Nidhogg. And Mars. And whomever they meet next. It's going to be tough for Scott to continue introducing more and more characters who are supposed to be more and more dangerous (literary escalation) when he starts out at such superlatives (Scathach is the best warrior there ever was... period). One "superbly powerful" character towards the end of this book barely made it thirty pages past his introduction, and was killed by what seemed like a relatively simple attack by Dr. John Dee. Where will Scott go from here, given that the only possible direction is up?
2. Joan really needs more definition as she seems to be the same character as Scathach.
3. We also seem to be missing a major theme here: Sophie and Josh aren't too emotionally invested in what's happening, and for a long time simply wanted to return home. It's almost like Scott's releasing the books in teen-sized serials, rather than a long epic that might prove imposing to the novice reader. Very little attention has been paid by any character that Flamel's motivations are primarily based around getting his wife back and returning to immortality. I'd really like to see Scott begin to tie together action and an overall morality. He's touched on it a couple times, usually involving Dee's attempts to lure Josh away, but there really needs to be a full addressing of the issues awaiting our heroes.

Overall, very good, and worth the relatively quick read.

2 STARS

How did I ever love this book in high school? I remember a friend of mine and I pouring over every aspect of this book and how cool it was. Well, the first third is certainly frightening and stark, and clearly in Stephen King's wheelhouse. The second third is the sociological analysis of a civilization's creation, and the most fun to read. The character of Glenn Bateman opines about the state of humanity, and is an interesting voice. The development of Harold Lauder is suspenseful and progressive. I really enjoyed it.

The last third of the book, however, it all begins to come undone: especially the post-climax events. Mr. King claims in the author's note to know that most critics claimed he had "diarrhea of the mouth", but it is so obvious that this is the case after reading the epilogue that I bear a heavy grudge against him. It's tough to enjoy this book when he recognizes what the problem is but refuses to fix it, and even adds 400 pages of irrelevant drivel. Half a chapter devoted to the inner voice of Kojak? Seriously? I have no problem with background, and the journey of the Trashcan Man adds a lot to the character. The voyage home within the last 250 pages does not. Everyone knows what will happen, but Mr. King seems to want to punish every reader who stuck with it. The only nice thing about the trudging, painful fiasco is that he refrains from adding interludes with Frannie Goldsmith, and when she reappears in the last two chapters, you realize how much you absolutely hated her sobbing, and wish you were still on the road.

Still, we can draw a few specific critiques on top of this. The first is the continual use of the possessive when referring to relationships, e.g. Frannie was Stu's woman. I'm not a feminist, but Mr. King only mentions marraige once, and even then only overtly. Is this a reversion to a pre-revolution way of thought? It certainly smacks as such. It's a little distracting.

The other clearly visible theme with which I had a problem was Mr. King's clear prejudice against, and I hate to use the term, "city folk". Only two characters emerge for the good guys from cities: Larry Underwood, the self-loathing cocaine-filled italian, who is constantly trying to drive the "city" out of himself, and Rita Blakermoor, who forgets to obtain hiking shoes, among other shortcomings. Every other Zoner seems to come from a small town of less than a few thousand people: I am surprised Glenn Bateman didn't remark upon the statiscal possibility of two people with immunity living in close proximity to each other (Harold and Frannie). Other city dwellers try to barter for Larry's woman, get drunk all the time, and, in general, head for Las Vegas.

The pinnacle of Mr. King's disdain for city life comes at the end when people start leaving the Freezone. Uh, guys? There's 5 billion dead bodies out there. It took you six weeks and a gunfight with slavers to get to Boulder. Perhaps you shouldn't venture out for a little bit? One character seems to think that a few books on midwifery can guide her through childbirth, rather than sticking close to the two doctors left alive. "It wouldn't be such a bad thing, if the Freezone fell apart." Wow, Stephen: way to flush everything they fought and died for down the toilet. Good luck getting back to western Maine in a Winnebago on the back roads: I'm sure the 100,000 cars littering the roads won't be a problem. You've got a winch!